What It’s Like to Start Therapy (And How to Know You’re Ready)
Starting therapy for the first time can feel intimidating
That nervous energy you feel walking into a therapist’s office (or logging on to telehealth) is completely normal — I felt it myself when I first began therapy. Clients often show up somewhere on the spectrum of uncertainty: on one end, thinking “I’ve always handled things on my own — how could anyone else possibly help me?” On the other, worrying “I’m too messed up — no one could figure this out or support me.” Both of these feelings are completely valid.
With men specifically, these worries are often shaped by societal expectations and toxic masculinity. We aren’t taught — and rarely see models — for talking about our feelings or inner world. Expressing vulnerability is often framed as weakness, or an admission that “something is wrong with us.” Spoiler alert: there are things about all of us that could grow and change — but that’s not a problem, nor something that needs to be “fixed.” Everything is malleable and evolving, which can feel unsettling. That’s exactly why therapy can be so powerful: it’s a place to explore and navigate that change in a way that is meaningful and sustainable for you.
What Happens in Your First Session?
In your first session with me, there are a few logistical things we need to cover — paperwork, intake questions, and scheduling. I move through this part quickly so we can focus on the heart of why you’re here.
We begin with your goals. What brought you to therapy? Some clients have clear answers: “I’m struggling in my relationship,” “I lose my temper too easily with my kids,” or “I feel constantly at odds with my partner.” Others may not know exactly what they want to work on yet, and that’s okay.
As one of my favorite Buddhist teachers, Pema Chödrön, says: “Start where you’re at.” This is exactly how I approach therapy: keeping it simple, grounded, and non-judgmental. I help clients understand the dynamics they want to shift and introduce practical ways to notice improvement through practices, reflection, and small, achievable steps.
Advice for First-Time Therapy Clients
If you’re preparing to start therapy, the most important thing is to come with an open mind. Therapy is rarely a quick fix. Many of the challenges you want to address are deeply ingrained patterns — sometimes even part of your personality at this point. From an IFS (Internal Family Systems) perspective, there may be parts of you that resist change or are reluctant to even talk about themselves. That’s normal.
Trust the process, and trust yourself. Show up consistently, reflect on your experiences, and ask for what you need as clearly as you can. The work doesn’t always look linear, but every step matters.
Closing Invitation
Whether you’re feeling ready to take that first step or still uncertain but know something needs to shift, this is often where the work begins. Like Pema reminds us, “Start where you’re at.” That’s all you have to do.
If you’d like support along the way, I invite you to reach out and chat. Here’e a link to set up a free 15minutes call with me!
Curious about individual therapy? Learn more here →